What Old Fashioned Habits can we use in Motherhood Today?

As the evening went on I found myself singing an old song my Grandma Newswanger use to sing. I don’t even know the name of it but it says “thank you mama for praying for me, if you hadn’t then where would I be. They call you old fashion but you love the lord. Your prayers touched the master as your tears touched the floor.” And as I’m watching Steven and singing this tune or my version of singing lol my boys would probably disagree and call it screeching but ya know, a joyful noise… but it really got me thinking about this idea of being old fashioned and enjoying the simple things in life. Ironically enough earlier today I was at the post office. I stood at the window for only a second but the postman, Mr. Mike finally saw me and said oh you should have rung the bell. I was just scrolling on my phone and didn’t see you right away. And then he says, gosh what did we do before cell phones, seems like all anyone ever does is mess with them nowadays. And as I sat down to write today, those events kept popping up in my head. I know I’ve talked about it before but this idea of slowing down and being old fashioned as the song describes, I use to think those ideas were silly but now that’s all I want to do. We spend so much time trying to get everything done and we tell ourselves that everything on that list is a must but is it? By no means am I saying that all technology is bad I mean I would literally be lost without my cell phone. Like actually lost! My lacking sense of direction is scary and the days when I had to print out mapquest directions or read one of those fold out maps, those were scary times lol but we have replaced even the simplest of things with apps and google. We are so dependent that life without sometimes seems boring in comparison.

So this morning as I got up and went about my morning I usually have a podcast playing while I'm getting ready and then some type of music or YouTube video in the background as I clean up the kitchen and get the laundry going but this morning I just felt the need for silence. I wanted to just hear what was around me and really take in the sounds of the morning. Watching the sky turn brighter and the birds sing to each other was the most peaceful way to start the morning. I went outside and just sat on the deck for awhile with the dog just watching the heifers as they started to mosey around. And I guess the thoughts I was having were that I need to be more intentional about slowing down and getting back to a more old fashioned life. What I mean by that is that I want to tap into the resourcefulness that God has put in me. Have you ever felt like God was giving you a warning heads up about that you were going to have some challenging times coming up soon? I feel like every devotional that I’ve read recently and even the Bible passages I’ve been led to, have all had similar messages about suffering and hard times. So what does that have to do with slowing down and being more old fashioned? To me it has to do with this idea of being prepared rather than being naïve and caught off guard. But prepared for what? That’s a really good question and honestly I don’t know. 

Point #1 Go to God with your prayers but make sure you are seeking his will not your own.

So how can we be prepared when we don’t know what is coming? This is where I think we can learn a lot from our grandparents. One of the biggest things I remember from my grandmothers was that God always came first. Any time I visited with Grandma Weaver she always wanted to know how she could pray for us. She would remind us that everything was in Gods hands but that we had a part to play as well.  This week I was reading though Malachi and it talks about how the priests were using imperfect animals for their offerings and God wasn’t impressed. When we expect God to follow through 100% He expects the same from us. We need to make sure that we are putting our best foot forward each day to do better then the day before and to seek after His will. Have you ever given your child a treat and told them to share with their sibling? My boys are really good at sharing the bare minimum. I say share these 2 cookies with your brother and instead of giving the other boy and entire cookies so they each have one, the giver will break a tiny piece off of one cookie and hand it to the other. They are technically doing what I asked but not the way I wanted them to. How often do we act as my boys did with their snack? We give God the minimum but not the best? What does that even mean, to give God our best? Some days as a mom and a wife and a teacher, I struggle just to do the bare minimum between the boys fussing, the animal chores that don’t go smoothly, the supplies for my lessons not showing up on time or the general hiccups of the day. Those are the days that I am so glad that God is gracious and merciful and realizes that we are human and we mess up. But the point is, if we are putting God first then we have no reason to fret or panic when troubling times come. So point #1 Go to God with your prayers but make sure you are seeking his will not your own.

Point #2 is finding ways that make sense for you and your family to be more resourceful.

Growing up I loved hearing stories about my dads growing up years and the adventures he would have on the farm. Dad used to say that the only time Grandma sat down was if she was mending something. She worked hard and was resourceful with what she had. There are so many ways to be resourceful and nowadays taking the time to mend socks is not one of them lol I’ve tried that and my husband was not super appreciative of his brightly decorated heels. But there is something to be said about learning how to make some of your own things. I’ve attempted my own summer dresses a time or two and the last one actually turned out nice! Lol to be honest I kind of surprised myself! But being resourceful could be reusing items or buying items that can have multiple purposes. I love the idea of handy-me-downs. We have bags of clothes that circulate between 5 or 6 families in this area. You take out what you can use, add what you don’t need and pass it along to someone else. Growing up that was one of my favorite Sundays! We had a mom from church with what I thought was a rather stylish daughter and I loved getting her old clothes! With that being said, the idea of minimizing the clothes that you do have is also a way to practice being more intentional plus it takes up so much less space. A few episodes ago I mentioned that we did a big clothing and stuff purge. I can’t wait to be able to finally put the winter stuff away and pull out the summer clothes because I want to once again go through all their winter items and downsize what we don’t really need. Being resourceful could also look like being creative in terms of meal planning. My Grandma Newswanger was an amazing cook but she was very resourceful about making meals and using leftovers and not wasting. I need to get better at this one! Ok so point #2 is finding ways that make sense for you and your family to be more resourceful with what you have so you don’t have access and waste. 

Point #3 is to get out of your comfort zone, get your hands busy and be creative about how you can help your family.

I guess this one kind of ties into the last point but I love the saying that we should thrive for busy hands not to be a busybody. Both of my grandmothers were very hard workers and always were creative in helping to make ends meet. I was listening to the Joy Filled podcast the other morning and she was talking about all the different ways you can get creative and make money for your family so that you can afford to stay home with your babies and that is what our Grandparents had to do as well. Grandma Newswanger helped with the family dairy farm but she also did side hustles, if you will, like quilting for others, raised and sold guinea pigs. Some folks sell their homemade crafts, some sell with an MLM like I do with Monat, some work online as proofreaders or social media managers or they babysit for friends. The possibilities are endless. But the idea is those woman were always working. They were doing something that was going to benefit their family. Just thinking of how the Proverbs 31 woman was described. She sold things in the market and made land purchases. She wasn’t just sitting around idly. So point #3 is to get out of your comfort zone, get your hands busy and be creative about how you can help your family.

Point #4 is that we need to find gratitude and contentment in every day and every situation

A final characteristic that I saw both of my grandmothers display was contentment. Society has this comparison trap that it loves to set for us to fall into. I mean just simply scrolling through social media those thoughts can start running rampant. I wish I had this or that, or man life would be so easy if I was so in so or had what they have. That is not to say that we should want to do better for ourselves and be looking to improve our situation quite the opposite. I think God always wants us striving to be better. There’s this idea that God made us perfect just the way we are and although yes he took a lot of time and effort into the creation of each one of us, we are still imperfect. It is only with Christ that we can become whole and unbroken. We need to learn how to find joy right where we are even though we are striving to do better. So point #4 is that we need to find gratitude and contentment in every day and every situation because complaining and comparing does nothing positive. 

What old fashioned lessons can we apply now?

Ok so let's recap. If I want to be more prepared for the unexpected I need to #1 Put God First. #2 be resourceful with what God has given me. #3 Have busy hands but not be a busybody and finally #4 Find gratitude and contentment where I am at but always realize that God has more doors to open when His timing is right. These four areas seem so simple but when those hard situations arise, it can be easy to miss the obvious. So as you go through this week, no matter if you are in a easy time or a hard patch keep these four ideas in the back of your mind and its my prayer that these words help you. I know sometimes when I write my thoughts I feel like God just pours the words out and then the next time… I wonder if I heard him right lol but I know that God is always working even when we can’t see him in action. I would love to hear what old fashioned lessons you use to make life smoother!

- Lindsay