One thing that I strongly value is transparency; especially in a world that passes every picture through a filter or crops the edges before posting it for the world to judge. This can easily create a sense, especially in motherhood, that someone woman really have all their ducks in a row! Yet, the reality is that we are all dealing with different struggles. In the past, there were certain woman that I had set on pedestals because clearly, they were better mothers, handled homeschooling better, had better behaved children, kept a calm and orderly home; all the areas where I struggle on a daily basis. And yes, the Bible does tell us to learn from those "older" woman, but it should be in a positive manner not a "I'm better then you" situation.

Galatians 6:1 says, "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Titus 2: 3-5 says, "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers of slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

I will be the first to admit I do not have my ducks in a row; most days I'm lucky if their all swimming in the same lake. Honestly, it is a daily conversation with God as to why, after 13 years of motherhood, I still can't handle things some days. But that is just the point; That's Gods job!

But back to transparency... when we are real and honest with each other, it brings trust and builds a stronger community of like-minded mamas. A perfect example with a touch of interesting side note: During the industrial revolution, so many people were moving to the cities, and they were subjected to eating whatever was available at the markets. Often the food was not in good shape, and it led to a lot of sickness. There were really no regulations, at that time, as to what could be mixed into your food to make it appear more appetizing. As well, you didn't have to disclose what was in your food. Often food was put into colored glass bottles or kept in bags and barrels so people couldn't actually see what it looked like. Henry Heinz, the inventor of Heinz ketchup, took a different approach. He wanted to build trust with his customers. He wanted to provide a fresh and healthy food option so after developing his ketchup recipe, he bottled it in glass jars. This was the first time people could really see the product they were getting. He also got his older son to eventually lobby for laws that protected food integrity. Those laws said that you had to label what was in your food and it had to be legit. There is a great documentary called The Food that Built America. It's a great add to your homeschool curriculum! But the point is, people value honesty and transparency and that is something I try to accomplish with this podcast. My goal is to help moms, specifically, grow closers to God and to encourage them to dig deeper into the life He has designed for them. I never want to be looked at as superwoman, believe me I am far from that; but God has a purpose for my words, and I want to honor that.

So today I want to talk about what we can do when life feels like a dumpster fire, because we had one of those days this week. Let me paint you a picture...

The morning started off with coffee that was sub par. I made muffins, per the boys' request, but ended up making an odd number of them so they couldn't be evenly divided between the boys which lead to an argument over who gets the remaining two muffins. My head was pounding, probably due to lack of sleep and coffee but all the noise was just too much. The boys were then dragging their feet more than normal when it was time to start chores which put us behind. Then I got a call from the school our special needs son attends, to tell me that Waylon wasn't feeling well and needed picked up. It is a challenge to get chores done and school with a house full of boys, but when you add Waylon into the mix, it can be a nightmare. So, the arguing and fighting continued into lunch and that was just the morning! Then there was dissention in the ranks and naps were refused, whining about finishing schoolwork, fussing over why Waylon gets to watch TV but the rest of us are supposed to go play, and so on. The frustrations continued on into the evening.

Now that the dumpster fire day has passed, I can think more clearly, and I know you have had those days too. So, let's chat about how to deal with those days and more importantly, move forward.

How can we move beyond the fire?

Step 1 - Accept that there will be bad days. Bad days do not equate to you being a bad mother. There is only so much you can control in a day. I have no control over the mood my children will wake up in. I have no control over outside situations of others. But I can accept that these days will happen, even to the best most prepared moms and that once they're past, you can move on to a new day.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Thank goodness for new days!

Step 2 - Assess what caused the fire and ask for help.

Psalm 121: 1-2 says, "I lift my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth."

Asking God for help is the first part of this step. Praying for help. Praying for a clear mind. Praying for peace over your home and family. Praying for your emotions. Praying for your tongue and thoughts. These are all great conversation starters. The Bible says to seek prayers from others, to confess things and share burdens. This is talking about confessing sins, but I think it also means confiding our struggles. When we keep everything pent up inside, it is easy for the enemy to pit ourselves against ourselves which can lead to deeper struggles.

James 5:16 says, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

Asking others for help can be hard but I always feel so much better when I actually tell someone what is going on in my head or heart. My husband walked into this dumpster fire and could tell right off the bat that I wasn't handling the day well. He took me for a hug and gave me a chance to unload my thoughts. He even took care of several of my half-finished house chores while I finished up things outside for morning chores. When we talk to someone else it gives us a chance to process what God is telling us about the situation, talk through new solutions or perspectives maybe we overlooked and see what the real problems were.

Step 3 - Discern and make changes. Bad days are going to happen; we need to come up with a plan to handle those days more effectively. So, what can I control? I can control my tongue; I can check my thoughts and call them out when they are negative and not helpful. I can control my reactions even if others aren't controlling there's.

Proverbs 13:3 says, "Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips come to ruin."

Proverbs 21:23 says, "Whoever keeps his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble."

Romans 8:5 says, "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on things of the flesh, but those who live according to the spirit set their minds on the things of the spirit."

What I really need to do is make a giant poster with all these steps and verses and hang it up so that when life starts to spiral, I remember to check myself. Not only do bad days affect us, I mean I know if can affect my mood even days after... mom guilt is a crazy animal... but it also shows our kids how to act and they will copy our behaviors, good and bad. No pressure, right?!?

It's never going to be perfect because we are human, but the more we feel like we are burning in a dumpster fire, the more we need to ask God to fill in the holes. We can't allow ourselves to get stuck in the burned debris, we have to move forward and learn from our mistakes.

Want to hear this instead of reading it? Check it out on the PODCAST at Rooted In Faith Family Farmlife - Podcast - Apple Podcasts