This time of the year always feels heavy to me... maybe it is the cold, bleak weather outside and the stir-craziness of my kids inside. Maybe it is that feeling like we are only halfway through the school year and I feel behind but we also need to start planning for next year! Honestly, it is probably a mix of both and to be frank I feel tired. It doesn't help that we have been struggling with earaches and sinus infections, not only in the kids but also in my husband and myself. But the days have been rough running on fumes and coffee.

For some, signing up for homeschooling may seem like the "easy way out" in terms of schedules. I mean you can sleep in; you can do school in your pjs, you can just flow through your day rather than having strict schedules which for many stay-at-home moms works and that is wonderful! However, I've been arguing with myself lately because I don't feel that our life fits that homeschool description. With the livestock, with the podcast, with the blog, with all these other things on top of schooling, with Waylon coming home from public school at a certain time, with my husband being home in the middle of the day, with all the extra farm work that the kids get pulled to help with. We don't have the same schedule every day and I keep trying to fit us into a schedule and then get frustrated when it goes out the window. I was listening to a podcast last evening and the speaker was describing her life as a work-from-home, homeschool mom and now I see that that life description makes more sense for us. So, what does classification really matter? It doesn't honestly except that now I feel like there is someone out there who understands a bit more what our daily life looks like and is living similarly. Does she know me no, do I know her personally no but any time that we can find that we are not alone in a life situation, it can build our confidence and help us on those struggle bus days.

So here we are a good halfway through the school year and it is time to do some checking in as well as planning for the next year. It's easy to get overwhelmed at this point. Are my kids where they need to be, are they learning the right things, am I being a good teacher, am I missing things, will they be behind? All are valid questions, but we need to start with reviewing why we are homeschooling. For us, I believe God called us to homeschool, so I know that we need to be doing it even when it doesn't feel like I am winning. What is your why?

Matthew 5:14-16 says “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."

When I think about our WHY for homeschooling, I want my kids to be a light for others. I want them to be able to work with people of all ages, not feeling like it is socially awkward to work with the young or old. I want them to not feel limited in their goals or dreams simply because those ideas are different then the norm. I want my kids to have a brotherly bond that is unbreakable. I want my kids to root themselves in God for all aspects of their life. As parents we are literally building the next generation. Psalm 127 really called me out this week, so let's break it down a bit.

Psalm 127:1-2 "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep."

As we are looking over what we have done so far this school year and what we want to do next year, if we are trying to build our homeschool, build our home, build our business, whatever it is that we are trying to create, if we are doing it with our own strength and ambitions rather than asking God for the instructions, then we are doing it in vain. We will continue to struggle and never get anywhere because God isn't in it. I mentioned in Episode 1 of this season's podcast "Understanding and Applying Gods Biblical Order to our Life" that God should be the first one we consult for anything and everything. He has a path that has been designed just for us and thinking that we can do better than what he has planned for us is just silly. If God called us to this homeschool journey, then he has a plan for it and there is no need to lose sleep over the ups and downs of the daily journey. We need to have faith and trust that he will open the right doors at the right time. The struggles may seem pointless now, but there is always a purpose, even if we never figure it out.

I don't know why my son Waylon was created mostly non-verbal or why he would have seizures or why he would struggle with his muscles and motor skills. I don't know why I have an auto immune issue. I don't know why we work so hard and are often still 5 steps behind. I don't know and I probably will never know, but God knows and he has a reason and I have to trust him. There is no point in being anxious, I realize that is often easier said than done but wasting nights sleeplessly worrying over what we cannot control changes nothing. When we are feeling those anxious feelings, we need to pray that God will take them and give us peace. Sometimes our human flesh continues to chew on those thoughts, and we have to keep handing them over again and again and again. I don't know why it can't be a once and done thing, but God does.

I've been thinking a lot about what my kids will do once they are out of school. What will their futures look like? And that can lead to a whole other set of anxieties, but we are not called to figure it out for our kids. We are to help them, guide them, and then give them back to God because rightfully that is who they belong to. They are only here with us temporarily. So, when I am thinking over what we have accomplished this year, I want to keep in mind that my goal is to lead my kids to God #1 and help them to find the path he created for them. I'm not sure if that takes the pressure off or turns it up...

Ok so let's up into a review session. Grab a sheet of paper and you can work this out as I work ours out.

Question #1 Did you invite God to this meeting and review? It may sound silly but honestly any time you are working you should be asking God to join you. Asking him to highlight things for you. Maybe it is things you need to change or areas that you need his encouragement. You wouldn't have a business meeting without the CEO present; life without God in the daily meeting is the same.

Question #2 How far have you come? Sometimes when we are just chugging along from one day to the next, we can forget how far we have actually come! So, I took a sheet of paper and jotted down each subject along the one side and added each kid to the other side. Then I went through subject by subject and wrote down what lesson we were on, what units we had covered, any highlight activities that had taken place in that area and then I also wrote down how many lessons were remaining or units yet to be covered. This gave me a visual encouragement that we were on the right track but also gave me a boost as to where we need to plug harder. 

Question #3 What were things that really worked well and what didn't? This I broke down into more specific areas like: Texts and Resources, Activities, Co-Op, and Routines. On another sheet of paper, I made another graph for each of these areas and listed out what we had done under the worked or didn't work sections.

In terms of texts and resources, I love using a combination. I need more structure to keep me on track, but I also appreciate flexibility. So, we used Masterbooks for English, Abeka for Math and Notgrass for History. The rest of our resources were pulled as we needed. Some came from amazon, some the Dollar store, some the library and so forth. For next year I do want to add in Science units from The Good and the Beautiful as well as exploring the Teachers Pay Teachers site for book study units.

In terms of activities, this year we have been attempting weekly library visits and that has been hit or miss. The boys love it, I love it but some days life just gets in the way and we don't have the time. I would like to continue to pursue that adventure thought. Two of our boys also participated in sports: one did wrestling and the other archery. These were both winning activities and the boys loved them. So definitely want to keep that in if we can but they are limited to just one activity each because it can be a lot of extra running and then weekend time for matches.

In terms of our Co-Op, this was a win and we will be doing it again next year. So, our group is small, only a handful of families and I love that. It gives all the moms a chance to really know who all the kids are but still is enough kids that your children can meet and mingle and enjoy their time without being overwhelmed. Even our two younger boys really love going and are able to participate in many of the activities. I also love that it gives me a chance to collaborate with other moms in similar life stages. We share wins, loses, struggles, challenges, and overall are a support system for each other and I need that.

In terms of routines, I feel like we have a pretty steady daily flow but there are things I would like to change, I'm just not sure how to go about that productively. I have come to the realization that I need to treat my life stage more officially as a work-from-home mom and take my work contributions more seriously rather than just dabbling. With that mindset shift I know I need time that I can dedicated to taking off the mom hat and putting on the work hat rather than trying to multitask because inevitably if I am trying to work and mom at the same time, the kids will override my focus and then I get frustrated and that isn't the mom I want to be. I have been trying harder to establish quiet time. So my husband leaves for work around 3pm and that's when quiet time starts for our three younger boys, not including the baby because he kind of does his own schedule. But I will go upstairs with them and lay down till the youngest is asleep. The other two know they are not to get out of bed till that toddler wakes up but that they don't have to sleep, just rest. At that point our son Waylon is home from school and typically enjoying some snacks and watching VeggieTales while the older boys are out finishing their afternoon chores. The goal is to use this time of quiet to work. Some days it happens, others I have to wait till everyone is in bed and it might be closer to midnight till I get work time. Not ideal but I do feel so much better when I can get some work done. Sometimes I can squeeze a work block in during the day when my husband is home and the kids are occupied but that can be very inconsistent. I am also trying to get a sitter to come just 1 day a month for about 6 hours to help me out and watch the kids so I can batch my work but even that, I'm still around home and the boys know it and there will be interruptions. So, routines, I feel like is more of a work in progress, but I know that we need to create a more structured schedule that includes time for me to work while the kids are occupied. 

And too hopefully the seasons will shift here soon and then the boys will be more apt to go outside. Then we will also have a shift in our days because there will be lawn work and garden work. I also like to start our outside work earlier to beat the heat and then we can do school inside during the hot parts. But honestly, I think this shift is still a bit away... my husband said their calling for more snow next week.

Something that I know does not work for us and is a challenge over the summer is TV time. My kids can not be allowed to watch TV during the day because then that is all they want to do. During the day when my son Waylon is at school, this isn't really an issue but over the summer when he is home this can become a huge issue. We are going to be ramping up our Yoto Card collection for this summer and one of my hopes is to remove the TV and replace it with the Yoto.

The biggest thing to remember as you ask yourself these 3 questions is that there is not right or wrong way to homeschool. If something isn't working, cut it out and try something new! I had to remind myself twice this week, "Ma'am you are the adult. You are not your children's friend. You are looking out for their futures." And it may sound silly but sometimes we can forget that! But here is your reminder, it is ok to say no. It is ok to ask for help when you don't know something, you are not failing even on those hard days, and the time you are investing into your kids now is going to make a difference within their future self.

God has given us these children for a reason. He has laid the desire to homeschool on your heart, and he wouldn't do that just to let you fail. Growth does hurt, sometimes more then we can comprehend but the end product, the foundation that you are laying for your child to grow closer to God and encouraging them to find the path God designed specifically for them is worth it. The Bible tells us we don't need to be anxious, Gods got this. We can rest in peace each night knowing that he is going to work it out in the end the way it is supposed to work out.

Want to hear this instead of reading it? Check it out on the PODCAST at Rooted In Faith Family Farmlife - Podcast - Apple Podcasts